Girls pt 2: Advice From Girls Who Should Be Giving It

      Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas. This is bad news for me as I have not bought any presents yet.  This blog is being made in advance, because I'm so loyal to you readers, and I plan on being very busy during the days proceeding every Christens favorite holiday. As promised, the long awaited second part of "Girls" has arrived. Like all true american things, it has been outsourced (zing). So male readers, you can thank Cameron C., Mary Clare M., and Kelsey M. for the following advice. Some it has been censored.  I know what your thinking, what does blogging have to do with sandwiches. The answer is I don't know. But, it's good advice, and it was written decently.

1. Don"t blanking  be a blank. no girls like that. Girls like a manly man that is not afraid to make a move
2. If you like a girl, compliment them. Every girl loves being told their beautiful. Do this and your blank (if ya know what im saying).
3. Be respectful. When she says no, it means NO. Dont argue. blank you
4. Make sure you always text and talk to the girl you like. If you don't, I guarantee they dont think you like them.
5. Don't always go for the obvious movie date, take her out to dinner.
6. Dont talk to her like shes your bro, be flirty but not over the top gooey. Try to find that perfect balance of friendship and love
7. When you around your friends, hug her! Hold her hand! It shows your not embarassed and you dont care what your friends think. which is a total blank blank.
8. Don't talk to other girls, while your with her, it comes across as flirting.
9. If you see her with another guy, its normal to be jealous but dont be too protective but show her that you care about her enough to interven.
10. THIS IS A MUST: Initiate everything. make every move first or else you suck and dont deserve a girl. if its your anniversary make sure to remember and mention it first to show you care. Even a small gift or even a card would be nice to give because its the thought about showing her you care that counts.
11. MAJOR: never make plans and cancel. Make sure you can do something before you ask her. Its blanking annoying
ADVICE GIVERS : Mary ClaireMcDonnell, Kelsey Muniz, and Cameron Carpizo

I apologize to any readers who are upset to the blanking but, I went to catholic school, and I have Morales. The requests for shout outs is unbearable, here is a list of people who should read my last article: JESSICA, Ragan, Mary Clare, Nicky, and anyone else im forgetting (consider this your shout out). Like I have said before, the more you ask the less likely you are to receive. Please do me the favor of supporting a friend and follow this link http://soundcloud.com/parkercumbo542/strange-cinema it's a "My Blog" exclusive early release. It would really mean a lot. In anticipation of reaching 1,000 view on this or the following blog, i would like to clarify what is necessary for you to receive one of the many prizes equaling over 1,0.00 dollars :O. First, comment on this or the next blog with your full name. Second, LIKE link on Facebook. I will randomly select the winners. there must be at least 15 participants. 1 in 7 will win. Happy holidays, and thank you all who still visit my blog. I do it for you. I think ill take a break from blogging for a year. ;) Merry Christmas and sorry Jewish readers,spell check didn't even know what i was trying to say.

Take a Hint

     People really need to learn when they are not wanted.  And if they're too dumb to figure that out, they need to learn how to take a hint.  If you have to track down people for an invite, YOU ARE NOT INVITED. I'm not saying i'm exempt, I've done it before. As many of my closer friends know, one of my biggest fears is exclusion, and being at a place I'm uninvited to.  So the few times that i'll fight to be included is a rarity at best.  Bottom line, don't force people to exclude or rather include you. It's an awkward situation for everyone, and yes.... they are talking about you behind your back. I would like to clarify that this post is not directed at any reader in particular.  However, if you have the slightest feeling that it applies to you. STOP WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING. in your defense, if you are one of the people, you obviously can't take a hint.  So let me make it more clear if there is any confusion.
** Not directed at any readers in particular**

Uninvited: Hey
Uninvited: Hey
Uninvited: Hey
-Or-
Uninvited: Hey
Host: Hey Whats up
Uninvited: So i here you are having a party on Friday.
Host: (no response).

If any recent Facebook chats seem similar to the above. You could probably use this advice. Figure it out people, they probably didn't "just forget about you", and it defeinately didn't "get lost in the mail". They remembered you, and they remembered to leave you out. I know this may seem harsh, but people just don't understand you were left out for a reason, YOU ARE NOT WANTED THERE. so do everybody a favor, and do something about it. But please make sure its not trying to get an invitation. So thats tonight's rant, happy holidays and have a merry Christmas (sorry Jewish readers idk how to spell your Christmas).
***** If anyone has an extra invite to Deans next party, i could really use it. just kidding, but not really. Part 2 of "Girls: Advice From a Guy Who Shouldn't Be Giving It" is on the way. consider it my Christmas present you. Also, once i reach 1,000 views, ill be giving away over 1,0.00 dollars in prizes Whoooooooo. Get excited. Follow me on twitter @mkoelzer and if your in the mood for great music http://www.youtube.com/user/ShwayzeVEVO?feature=watch#p/u/0/bgra1M1F90g

STAY FAITHFUL AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS. consider it your early X-mas present to me. If you have any ideas for future blogs, hmu.  Also, don't ask for "shout outs" if i feel your worthy, they maybe. Until they don't ask. <Take a hint.  Also i need a guest blogger for a blog i'm working on preferably someone of the opposite sex. 

Girls pt 1: Advice From a Kid Who Shouldn't Be Giving It (for Girls)

     Alas, after much anticipation, the newest post has arrived. I open myself up to a lot of ridicule with this one so if you are one of the people who view this to make fun of me, i suggest you stop reading now. This is espically directed to those over 6ft and under 125 lbs.  Also, if you are trying to find an old post about rap, you will not find it, I took it down out of fear of my safety.  Today's topic is Girls.  A little bit of background knowledge, I have only gone out with one person, who, the one time I held hands with was in a game of Red Rover.  I hugged said person 3-4 in a span of about 5 months. I am not by any means an expert in this subject.  That being said, this is what I have found about girls.

 Here are few ways that you can tell if a guy is into you.
1) The classic ;) or other use of emoji while texting.
2) sharing food or use of cell phone.
 3) (in my case) Being generally awkward in any one on one confrontations.
Tips for Girls
1) I suggest making it a lot more obvious that you are into someone
**Often people are to prideful to ask your friend if you like them, and a lot of the time its hard to tell if (at least for me) a girl is into you.  
2) Don't be overly emotional over a small thing, and definitely don't complain to a guy about it.
3) Don't only joke around, then there is the possibility of the dreaded "friend Zone", also its hard to say something important because a guy might think you will take it seriously.

I would also like to cover P.D.A.. In the slim chance that I might ever get into a physical relationship, I'm sure i would like to demonstrate public affection. But until then, and I believe I speak for many, keep it to yourself. Its just gross, and the people that stand really close together off to the side against walls, WE CAN STILL SEE YOU. Get a room, no one else really cares. And to those who when they see P.D.A.ers, and you awkwardly stare at them to make the feel "awkward". You look like an idiot, and if you ask me, a bit of a petifile.  This is the kinda stuff that makes people say " Oh your such a freshman".  Its just creepy. so do the whole freshman community a favor, and stop making yourself look like a "freshman"

No good title at the moment

This is gonna be a short one bloggers, my brother is riding me for the computer, and for some reason does not accept blogging as a valid reason. I'm just checking in to put my followers at ease. The blog is not dead. I've just been busy.  I've got a few good ideas for some up coming rants so get ready topics include: E bay, girls, and procrastination.  Happy blogging Bloggers, stay faithful and tell your friends. 222 views and counting :o happy cyber Monday btw if you were wondering, funding was a little low this year so I was unable to participate in my favorite shopping holidays.

"blogs are just online diaries"

       Out of the gate, my blog has received some pretty negative feed back from both my family (who maybe reading this) and people I thought were supporting friends ( Austin M. & Ragan F.).  But nonetheless, if they don't like it, they don't have to read it.  I am a virgin to the blogging world as i'm sure many of you are, so sorry if this is not what you expected from the comical genius that is Mike P G Koelzer.  Anyway, its thanksgiving break, and I'd like to do the cheesy thing and thank the few believers who followed the link on either Twitter of Facebook. I couldn't have done it with out you.  Thanksgiving means we get 5 days off for break and honestly it sucks, mainly because on what is basically a Friday, I'm at home.... writing a blog. Nonetheless, thanksgiving brings 2 key holidays paralleled only by great holidays like Christmas (sorry Jewish readers), these of course are Black Friday and Cyber Monday. I for one am very excited, and cant wait for buying my family great Christmas presents for a great price... NOT. Out of the 365 days a year 3 of them are devoted solely to myself and my own gains.  Obviously these days are Cyber Monday, Black Friday, and my birthday.However, this year I was robbed of any birthday cheer due to the fact that I flooded my basement the day of, different story for a different blog. All in all, i don't wanna overdo blogging the first time, so ill stop for today gauge the amount of views,and take it from there. Happy Black Friday/Thanksgiving/Cyber Monday.  TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND GET THEM TO READ.